The Importance of Shirt Buttons

 Aww - I love this photo.  I have it as my desktop wallpaper on my work computer and my laptop. It captures a beautiful moment on the happiest day of  my life.  But - oh my gosh it irritates me, too.  Drives me mad.  Just -just look at it...

I have known my utterly wonderful husband for about four and a half years. During this time, I have explained, demonstrated and cajoled, but still he insists on unbuttoning one, but not two of his shirt buttons - I've more or less given up with him, but it just looks odd.  And yet, as I look around at the gentlemen of Britain, this one-button-madness seems to be rife.  The problem is one of connotation. Two open buttons give an impression of comfort and relaxation.  One button open is, well, more buttoned-up.

The king of 'Only Opening One Button Land' is actor / writer / presenter / comedian and all-round likeable chap David Mitchell. But it works for him. Mitchell's media persona is one of slight diffidence and discomfort, a man who finds himself ill at ease with things like relaxation, fun and the modern world.  As such, the single button open at the neck says "I didn't want to wear a tie, but actually, I'm not quite sure what to do if I don't have a tie on. I know that leaving all my buttons done up looks weird, so -there - look, I've undone one. It's more comfortable and I don't look like I've just taken off my tie. Even though I probably have." And while that works for him, it's not the kind of image many men want to project.  It's also true that, having two buttons open makes you look leaner both in the face and neck; and in the body. It's the same optical rules that make V necks so flattering for women.

When I was at the pub on Saturday, I got some of the gentlemen to pose for us, with one and two buttons undone. Ignore the odd orange glasses - and instead, notice how - when Adrian has more buttons done up - he looks a bit geeky.

It's even more pronounced here, on Harry - perhaps because of the long sleeves - that with only one button undone the wearer looks uncomfortable and uptight. It's important to notice that if you undo two buttons you're not normally going to expose great acres of chest-flesh: you just give the impression of a longer neck.

Undoing two buttons is flattering, and it also marks a clear distinction between work and play. On the left, Pete would be smart enough for many workplaces... but who (except barstaff) wants to look like they could be at work on a Saturday in the pub? On the left, Pete looks laid back and casual.  It's so simple.

There's always one. It's funny, though - a few men have pulled their shirt open in a similar way when I've brought this subject up. Assuming it's not a crazy desire to show me their manly chests, it sometimes seems to be a way of jokingly dealing with insecurities related to showing off  more of their bodies.  Or perhaps it's not feeling it's ok for everyone, even very 'blokey' blokes, to look stylish and be aware of what suits them.  As I said above, most shirts won't show much more flesh if you open two buttons than one, but actually, very soft, unstructured shirts like Steve's will tend to fall open in a wider V shape.

I think the more open neck here looks great - very relaxed and summery, but you can go too far with a good thing.  It takes a certain type of person to pull off more than two buttons open, and on others, it can look a little odd...

In the unlikely event that you are Mr David Mitchell and you are reading this blog, please accept my apologies. I think you know that you've a look and persona that work for you - but should you ever want to change all that, I think you should start with the hair. Seriously...

What you want - 2: A big man

So, I have a lovely friend - very stylish, gorgeous, sharp...  and she has a chap who is also lovely - but struggling rather, in the struggle to match her sartorial splendour, and so she's written me an impassioned plea for ideas.  As you know, this isn't my field of familiarity: I'm no expert on where to shop for men's clothes, but I'll do the best I can using basic principles.  My friend's boyfriend is 40, tall and broad shouldered, but she describes him as "portly of tum", and "generally top heavy".  I can't reproduce all of her letter here as it gets a bit 'frank', and it wouldn't be politic to use a photo of the chap himself, so I'm going to use the actor Vince Vaughn to get the body shape in your minds.  I get a bit weak-kneed about Vaughn: he's a great big scrummy bear of a man. 

It's hard for men.  There are far fewer variables of shape and form in men's clothing, and their bodies don't offer many failsafes that can distract the eye from the imperfections.  Where a woman can put on a slash of vivid lipstick or show a splendid decolletage, most men would consider these strategies as probably not enhancing their look.  But there are some opportunities: my friend's chap has a good head of hair, and I strongly advise him to adopt a hairstyle that's a bit flash - short at the sides for slimming effect, but longer on top in the tousled style of Hugh Grant, David Tennant's artfully messy fringe, or Vaughn's own suggestion of a quiff with killer sideburns. A pair of stylish glasses can also draw the eye.

Some things don't change, though - the rules of what is optically slimming are the same for men and women.  It's no more flattering for a man to wear a t-shirt, with its unforgiving high neckline, than it is for a woman.  Any man who wishes to look a little more svelte would do well to eschew just about everything other than the traditional, button-front shirt, worn two buttons open at the neck, just as above.  The V shape neckline elongates the throat and counteracts any burgeoning double chin (a beard can help, but should be well groomed.  Those of us carrying extra weight have an unfair tendency to look unattractively ragged). The line of buttons going all the way down the front draws the eye down, creating a slimming effect.  A shirt with vertical panels will enhance this too, and generally indicates a closer fit. It may seem counterintuitive but heavier bodies shouldn't be swathed in tent-like quantities of fabric; a more fitted look will reduce bulk.  Just make sure the shirt is big enough (and long enough) to allow for a full range of arm movement when done up.  As a general rule, unless very smart dressing is required, leave the shirt untucked and remember that long sleeves are far more flattering (and classy, and elegant, and stylish) than short ones.

Just as with larger women, heavier men should pay attention to pattern.  Checks add width, horizontal lines are not to be countenanced, and patterns should be on a larger scale the bigger you are - but avoid anything too big  as you may end up resembling a sofa.  If you're going to wear the shirt without a jacket some kind of pattern is advisable, as unbroken blocks of colour can give the impression of acreage.  Perhaps surprisingly, since vertical lines = slimming, I'm advising against the ubiquitous Paul Smith-style striped shirt.  It'll make you look like a deckchair.  Not all colours are great to be worn near the face: pale colours can make you look washed out, and yet slimming black makes some look completely drained.  Experiment with dark wine reds, purples, blues and blue-greens as these shades suit all but the fairest skin and hair.  Primary colours are for children and those with very dark skin only.

If the belly protrudes significantly over the waistband, the solution is another layer that will follow the form of the body.  In winter you can wear a fine knit V neck sweater or tank top over the shirt and this will bring the shirt snugly to your waist. Summer is harder though, as obviously you won't want a knitwear layer.  You can wear a t-shirt tucked in to avoid exposing the tummy, but t-shirts themselves are so unflattering... I would advise a t-shirt in a colour no darker than your skin tone, and wearing an untucked shirt on top, done up (apart from the top two buttons) or worn undone, like a jacket. 

Over the shirt, jackets and coats should be tailored with vertical shaping, like a well-fitting suit jacket.  A retro-style leather blazer in black, brown, or warm cherry red is a fantastic everyday standby.  Finding one in the right size may be a problem as many are vintage, but keep an eye out.  In the meantime consider a well-cut suit jacket as a standby.  In colder weather, a classic overcoat like this from Crombie at House of Fraser is an investment that will flatter him and cut a dash for years to come.  It's available up to a 48" chest, and costs £395 (reduced from £675!).  Cheaper options are undoubtedly available, but it's the shape you want - deep V line, mid-width lapels, single breasted.  It needn't be black: charcoal grey is an easier shade to wear for people with paler colouring.

What then to balance out the bottom half?  Avoid anything with a tapered leg, and conversely, also avoid bootcuts.  Bootcut trousers are designed to balance out a heavy thigh.  Great for pear shaped women and rugby players, but heavier set men tend not to have proportionately wide legs.  We want a trouser style then that will add bulk and an impression of width to balance out the top half.  Cargo / combat pants do this, but probably won't work with the button front shirt and form fitting jacket.  Instead I'm going to recommend a wide leg trouser in flannel or corduroy for winter: in summer adopt a dark linen suit with a wide leg. It should be long enough to crumple over the shoe at the front, but shouldn't rub the floor at the back: this is a fairly smart look.  Avoid all except very dark denim with a wide, parallel leg, and say 'no' to shorts and cropped trousers altogether.

Footwear is important, and this look won't work with most trainers, although retro style tennis shoes, baseball boots etc would give a creative edge.  More conventional would be a lace up (or ankle boot for casual wear) with elongated lines, echoing the vertical tailoring of the shirt and jacket.

Smart Dressed Man

So, you may be a dapper chap with a wardrobe full of fine tailoring, or you may have a partner who fits that description. I, however, don't. My fabulous fiance is actually really stylish in his own way, but suits are not his thing. Recently, he bought a rather lovely suit in the Moss Bros sale for around £200 - but I shouldn't imagine he'll be repeating that experience very soon.

However, it won't do for my sister's wedding next month, because that's black tie. So we assumed he'd hire a dinner suit - maybe from the hire section of the very retailer who sold him the other one. But then my sister discovered that Marks and Sparks are doing dinner jackets and matching trousers for just £49.50 for the set! We're waiting for the suit to come, and of course - for that price you have low expectations in terms of cut, fit and fabric. But how low? This is still Marks and Spencers, after all: sensible quality is practically their brand identity, and while this suit may be the sartorial equivalent to a supermarket's no frills brand of beans - it's still going to be better than if, say, it had been bought from Primark. We shall see. Certainly I expect the cut and fit to be no worse than one would reasonably expect when hiring a suit.

Also available is a dress shirt for £15 (polycotton, but with those all-important swoonsome french cuffs), and a silk bow tie for £9.50. Incidentally, M&S have 14 different bow ties or bow tie and cummerbund sets, but only one of them is 'self tie'. Now quite apart from bow ties not being much harder to tie than your own shoelaces, if you get a ready made one, what are you going to do after dinner when you open your top buttons (always two, lads - one button looks like you've burst out). If you have a proper bow tie you can undo it for that dishevelled James Bond look. Yum.

Assuming you'd have bought the shirt and tie anyway, the suit costs around the same as hiring would do - so if he wears it once more, it's completely paid for itself. And this way, if he tears it or some other mishap befalls the thing, there's no deposit to lose either.

If I were a bloke I'd be tempted to get one anyway, just for a rainy day. But maybe that's the kind of attitude that's left me up to my eyeballs in clothes...

And for a boy...

As promised I have a 'boy challenge' today.

This is Xan, guitarist by night and all round studmuffin.  He writes:

Hey missy!

[These] were meant to give me more of a rock n roll look (according to my dear big sister) for when I'm playing gigs.  They're faded black/grey, tight around the butt and thighs, but bootcut. They've been altered a little since those photos - slightly shorter, so they don't drag across the ground as much.

My sister recommends some kind of biker boots, but I'm looking for other suggestions too.

I have two suggestions for our boy.  Both of which are a little less 'bulky' than biker boots - and perhaps a little more 'showman'.  Firstly, my immediate impulse was a pair of razor-sharp black Cuban-heeled boots.

These are from an online store called Atom Retro, and sum up exactly what I mean.  Clean lines, presence - the heel gives swagger in your posture and emphasises the hips/guitar zone.  They're not cheap at £69 - so you may want to look around...  But beware - these are not cowboy boots - they finish at the ankle and have no stitching.  Think Ronnie Wood or Brett Anderson.  Maybe eschew the T shirt in favour of a fitted black shirt, open at the neck.

Or, alternatively - something younger and more casual.  Not trainers as such - trainers just aren't very rock and roll - but traditional baseball boots.  They don't have to be Converse - but these iconic All Star Hi Tops (Schuh, £34.12) are perfect in their profile - so look for something similar.  You want a boot, in case you need to sit down and cross your legs - a glimpse of sock is not Rock and Roll - but the kind of insubstantial, juvenile vibe of these glorified plimsoles is fun and somehow dynamic.  

I've chosen purple for those flashes of colour peeping out.  Red would be too bright, and suggest ill-coordination when worn with other colours, whereas purple is nearer to being a neutral.  If the idea of colour scares you, go with beige or off-white canvas.  Black looks a little odd, and Navy is wrong with jeans of any colour.