The Importance of Shirt Buttons

 Aww - I love this photo.  I have it as my desktop wallpaper on my work computer and my laptop. It captures a beautiful moment on the happiest day of  my life.  But - oh my gosh it irritates me, too.  Drives me mad.  Just -just look at it...

I have known my utterly wonderful husband for about four and a half years. During this time, I have explained, demonstrated and cajoled, but still he insists on unbuttoning one, but not two of his shirt buttons - I've more or less given up with him, but it just looks odd.  And yet, as I look around at the gentlemen of Britain, this one-button-madness seems to be rife.  The problem is one of connotation. Two open buttons give an impression of comfort and relaxation.  One button open is, well, more buttoned-up.

The king of 'Only Opening One Button Land' is actor / writer / presenter / comedian and all-round likeable chap David Mitchell. But it works for him. Mitchell's media persona is one of slight diffidence and discomfort, a man who finds himself ill at ease with things like relaxation, fun and the modern world.  As such, the single button open at the neck says "I didn't want to wear a tie, but actually, I'm not quite sure what to do if I don't have a tie on. I know that leaving all my buttons done up looks weird, so -there - look, I've undone one. It's more comfortable and I don't look like I've just taken off my tie. Even though I probably have." And while that works for him, it's not the kind of image many men want to project.  It's also true that, having two buttons open makes you look leaner both in the face and neck; and in the body. It's the same optical rules that make V necks so flattering for women.

When I was at the pub on Saturday, I got some of the gentlemen to pose for us, with one and two buttons undone. Ignore the odd orange glasses - and instead, notice how - when Adrian has more buttons done up - he looks a bit geeky.

It's even more pronounced here, on Harry - perhaps because of the long sleeves - that with only one button undone the wearer looks uncomfortable and uptight. It's important to notice that if you undo two buttons you're not normally going to expose great acres of chest-flesh: you just give the impression of a longer neck.

Undoing two buttons is flattering, and it also marks a clear distinction between work and play. On the left, Pete would be smart enough for many workplaces... but who (except barstaff) wants to look like they could be at work on a Saturday in the pub? On the left, Pete looks laid back and casual.  It's so simple.

There's always one. It's funny, though - a few men have pulled their shirt open in a similar way when I've brought this subject up. Assuming it's not a crazy desire to show me their manly chests, it sometimes seems to be a way of jokingly dealing with insecurities related to showing off  more of their bodies.  Or perhaps it's not feeling it's ok for everyone, even very 'blokey' blokes, to look stylish and be aware of what suits them.  As I said above, most shirts won't show much more flesh if you open two buttons than one, but actually, very soft, unstructured shirts like Steve's will tend to fall open in a wider V shape.

I think the more open neck here looks great - very relaxed and summery, but you can go too far with a good thing.  It takes a certain type of person to pull off more than two buttons open, and on others, it can look a little odd...

In the unlikely event that you are Mr David Mitchell and you are reading this blog, please accept my apologies. I think you know that you've a look and persona that work for you - but should you ever want to change all that, I think you should start with the hair. Seriously...

Undercover Arms

So, I've been meaning to get around to this mission for a while - but Friday Frocks has been a shameless attention seeker, and I've been dazzled by its frivolity.

Mission request? As you know I have tattoos on my upper arms, and as much as I love them I don't show them at work (professionalism and keeping work/private life separate). Looking for long or 3/4 sleeve tops and dresses in the summer tends to limit the choice so I sometime buy things that have shorter sleeves and wear cardigans. I hate buying them them so need some suggestions on cardis for covering up my tattoos in the summer and not leave me boiling.

We don't all have fabulous tattoos like Trudi, but many of us feel more comfortable covering up our upper arms. It seems especially true that ladies with big boobs have had the dubious twin blessing of hefty hams to match - but lots of us are sensitive about our 'bingo wings' - the untoned flesh that keeps waving long after we've stopped. It stands to reason then, that Trudi's quest for ink-concealment will come in handy for quite a few others of us.

The most common solution to the problem is an elbow-length cardigan, either cropped or very fitted.  The pink cardigan at the top of the page is versatile enough for day or evening, and won't look dated anytime soon, so it's probably worth the £50 price tag (it's by Phase Eight at House of Fraser - other colours are available here). The orange shrug above, (£49, John Lewis, also available in black) has a little more femininity in its design detail, with the puffed shoulder and gathering at the elbow - and this can make it easier if you are trying to disguise rounded arms. There are two problems with this style of cover-up (and for more in the same kind of mould, see here): firstly, they're quite expensive, and secondly, they're probably a bit much for a really hot day.

So we want pocket-friendly, heat-busting, arm-covering pieces. This white three-quarter sleeved bolero from M&S is a perfect summer cover-up. The colour is light-reflecting and summery, and it's 100% cotton so it will allow air circulation. It would also be ideal to protect yourself when you've had enough sun. Those flared cuffs will help to balance out heavier arms, and the fabric has a pretty, subtle, circular pattern. It's only £19.50 and will work with all kinds of looks.

Not everyone feels comfortable wearing white, but I've rarely met someone who doesn't look great in shades of turquoise. This bolero is also from M&S, also £19.50 and also 100% cotton (it's also another really weird picture with an uncomfortable-looking model - try to see past that). I'd say his bolero is less versatile - unlike the last one, it probably wouldn't be suitable for more casual occasions - but it is a lovely colour and those A line sleeves are going to be cool and flattering.

Lastly, this slouchy shrug is from ASOS. It comes in black, a warm pale beige, and a super-fashionable pale grey, and the loose cut is easy to wear in the heat.  Best of all it's reduced from £18 to £12. This is a less tailored look, but that doesn't mean it's only suitable for casual dressing.  Kept simple with a more tailored dress or skirt in a plain colour, it would look draped, elegant and classy.

Now, Voyager - Trashy-fabulous Temptations

Much as we might be dedicated to swelegance, few of us can afford to buy a whole new outfit whenever the mood takes us. That's when you need accessories.  Not your bog-standard, identikit bits of outfit-garnish, but gorgeous focal points that will attract glances and compliments whenever you wear them.

So let me introduce you to Now, Voyager. This is a small business based in Southend-on-Sea, and they stock loads of lovely bits and pieces - perfect for adding a touch of glory to your look.  I'm a big fan of floral hairclips: they are a great way of injecting some bright colour to your outfit, and by carrying your look through above the neck it helps you look more 'put together', rather than being all about the clothes.  Now, Voyager's own range of hair flowers are some of the best I've seen.  They're bright, yes - but they're also large: I think a larger hair accessory looks more balanced and less like an afterthought or an apology. I'm definitely going to buy the sunflowers (£8.50) and the poppy (£7.00) above  and - depending on how my spending goes for this pay packet - possibly one or two others as well.

You'll have noticed a retro aesthetic to the photos used, but I really believe a floral hairclip can work regardless of your look.  However, that rockabilly sensibility is their guiding design principle.  That doesn't mean, though, that you have to go wholesale for the look. Take the necklace above. By Bow & Crossbones, it's £12.50, available in silver or gold finished brass and would work beautifully to add something a bit special to the current big nautical trend that's all over the high street.

Wedding season is upon us, and people love a fascinator... but I like them in principle much more than practice, where I feel the design opportunity is often wasted in favour of producing anonymous sprigs of feather and ribbon.  Some of the larger hair accessories at Now, Voyager however, are perfect for wedding guests who want to look truly fabulous. The butterfly clip at the top of this post is really lovely and sure to attract compliments. The black and white pompom above (£9.50) would be an easy alternative to a pillbox hat for city nuptuals, while the fabulously huge orchid (right, £9.50) is perfect for those who love the theatricality of a wedding.

If that's not your style, you're not off to any weddings, and you like to look a little more frivolous, then there's plenty on offer. In fact some of what's in store is a little bizarre.  There's a whole range of cake hairclips, another made from children's toys, but how about a big feathery bird (available in a  range of colours £8.50), or a small, girly straw hat (£14.50) complete with trailing ribbons?

Friday Frocks - Long and Hot and Sixy

The sixth week of Friday frocks and we have a bumper crop.  Firstly, here come the boys:

pic removed by request (sept 2012)


Your eyes don't deceive you, and this isn't a distorted picture - this jacket really does feature the kind of pattern you see if you get too close to your TV screen.  I love it! I bet it attracts attention all day long.  On a design level, see how the pattern gets smaller as the jacket tapers in? That's pretty neat.

One of my colleagues, next - and isn't this shirt gorgeous? The print has quite a vintage feel, and it isn't too much for work because the tailoring is neat and close-fitting.  It helps too, that Hugo is quite a trim guy: that pattern over a much larger frame would look a little like soft furnishings, and what man wants to look like a sofa?

Lastly, for the gents @mikedixon honoured us with a new T shirt.  Cant say I'm much of one for slogans or jokes on clothes, but I do like the retro-americana styling with the contrast neck and yoked sleeves. And the moody look - you have to love a moody look.  He's a musician, you know, ladies...

Say hello to trashy. Trashy is a very, very close friend of mine and I truly love her, but this is the first time she's braved Friday Frocks.  What kept you, beautiful? Here she looks sophisticated and cool in a floaty-but-tailored black dress. I love the deep V neckline, it makes the dress sophisticatedly sexy - and it's enhanced by a simple silver necklace of exactly the right length.  Those Audrey Hepburn-style sunglasses? Divine.  The darkness and size balances out the dress against her fair colouring.
 

Rebecca lives in Ireland, and I guess it must've been a bit cooler there last Friday, because she's chosen to team up this simple black sundress (simple, but gorgeously flattering and boobtastic) with jeans and a cardie.  The dark denim works with the black dress - and of course jeans are practical for a busy mum - while the soft rose cardigan adds a flattering flash of colour and enhances her auburn hair.  Accessorising with a three year old in full Spiderman regalia? I love it. And if even toddlers can get on board with Friday frocks, what excuse have the rest of us got?

Speaking of small people, I know that lots of you loved Poppy, @BeBelongy's baby daughter last week.  Well here's mum! This is a lovely sundress, but styled up to look very swelegant.  Belting a dress can be a great way to show off your shape and add a certain something - and here that tan leather belt has been echoed by some lovely heeled sandals.  Then the chunky necklace gives the top of the outfit balance against that full skirt.
 

I need to apologise to a couple of lovely ladies for missing them out last week. I expect I occasionally will forget what photos I've been sent - please, please remind me if I do.  Charlotte looks so sophisticated here - this tailored dress is given a look of softness by the draped neckline, and the ballet pumps are the perfect retro-friendly option for people on their feet all day.

Less practical footwear from Megan, but I love the contrast of these twenties-style cutout 'tap shoes' against the black tights.  The eau de nil shade of the vintage-look dress (tiny pleats are such a lovely fashion detail at the moment) is picked up in the ribbons tying her shoes.  I adore this look - so cute.

Back to this week and another colourful frock from the woman in black: @Girl_In_A_Box... I may faint! This is a simple linen shift dress, but the idiosyncratic black jewellery, retro eyemakeup and 'up do' make the overall look unmistakably glam.

Maeve is rocking an actual skirt this week - which she tells me is a novelty for her. I don't know why, because she wears it well.  Immaculately colour co-ordinated as always, the little cardigan makes the outfit fun and is wonderful against Maeve's reddish hair colour.

Another turquoise cardie - this time from Trudi who is looking positively girly. Those silver pendants are just the most flattering length, and because of where they sit they break up the blackness of the top - tying it in to the patterned skirt.  I really love those ultra-pared-back sandals too.  Glitzy and practical.

I love the shape of Amanda's dress, here. The neckline is so flattering and respectably sexy, and the empire-line cut and A-line skirt give an impression of height and long-leggedness.  It looks really cool and airy, too.

Now, this is @_idioteque's Friday frock look - but it raises the question... is a Friday night outfit a Friday frock? Well, technically, no... probably not.  BUT - I'm happy to feature them anyway. Grey is Hugely fashionable at the moment, but it can look washed out and dull.  This outfit pulls the grey into sharp focus by teaming it with black throughout - on different scales.  I'd love to see more of those shoes - the contrast platform sole not only works with the contrast pattern on the skirt, but is eyecatching enough to be a focal point for the outfit.

@Girl_In_A_Box again, this time with first time Friday frocker @LittleModChick - ready to paint the town red. @LittleModChick pulls off the difficult horizontal stripes of the current nautical trend - but in such a showstopping top, wisely doesn't go too short with her skirt. Conversely, @Girl_In_A_Box covers up her cleavage in favour of showing off her fabulous pins in a pair of daringly short shorts.

@BeBelongy looks tanned and sultry here in this flattering maxi dress for her Friday night. Once again she shows her eye for accessorising with those two simple wooden bangles  - natural materials enhancing the kind of glam-hippy look.

A headless Bonita next - she sent me this Friday evening frock last week, actually - but it fits in with the Party Frock theme. I know regular readers will recognise the fabric as being the same as my peacock dress from the summer party a few weeks back  - but this style, also from Collectif last year, is shorter and more flirty.  To avoid too much exposure, Bon is wearing a beautifully matched vest top underneath - always an option to make you feel more secure.

Lastly me, in a pair of dotty frocks. In my Friday frock I've inadvertently managed to channel the eighties - it's a bit Strawberry Switchblade, and that's no bad thing.  On the Saturday night, at my Mother-in-Law's birthday party, I rocked my new frock from Collectif, and very pleased I am with it, too

So there you go - week six: a bumper crop.  But keep sending them in - regulars and newbies; young and old; male and female. And keep spreading the word!

Short-and-Sweet and Super Slim Summer Smarts - A Mission

I received a plea for help from a lady known to me only as Hellsbells:


Can I ask for some urgent advice please?

I have an interview on Friday for a PGCE and don't know what to wear. It's been years since I had an interview of any kind and don't own any smart trousers or skirts. I was hoping to get away with wearing smart black jeans, but not sure this is a good idea. Plus, in this heat, I'd probably be stupidly uncomfortable.

I find buying trousers that fit properly REALLY hard. Practically impossible actually.
I'm petite - about 5 foot 1. And very slim. So for anything to look decent on me, it has to be pretty fitted. Don't know what's going on with sizes in shops, but trousers in Next (for eg), in a size 6 in the petite range - they just fall off me or look utterly ridiculous.
Should I wear a skirt instead? And if so, what kind of length/style etc?

Thanks for your help

Sometimes, we all need to look smart. Some jobs require an everyday level of spit-and-polish, while others - like teaching - are a little more relaxed day to day.  Some jobs are T shirt and jeans territory... but almost all of us need to look tailored and groomed for interviews, and although this is for a course (post-graduate teacher training, for the uninitiated), it's the sort of thing that demands a professional-looking appearance.  But then - wow, but it was meltingly hot today.  Looking the part may be important but if you're too flushed and flustered to answer your interviewer with your customary charm and sparkle...? Well, you may as well be dressed in your pyjamas. So we need to find a balance - on the one hand, smart; on the other hand we need to keep it cool.

The answer, my swelegant lovelies, lies in dresses.  If you weren't going for elegance and poise you could be cool and comfy in a loose linen trouser, but linen is too soft and crumply to give a super-professional impression.  The two dresses above will both allow cooling breezes to circulate around your bits and pieces, and while they are superficially similar, not all Little Black(ish) Dresses are created equal. The dress on the left is from Marks and Spencers' petite range.  It's £29.50 and available in sizes 6 to 18.  The dress on the right is also from the petite range, is £35 and available in sizes 6-18. So which is better?  It's the latter.  Hellsbells is a teeny size 6, so we can safely assume she doesn't need to worry about that high neckline making her boobs look matronly, as a more buxom girl would, and the benefit of that is the fabulous retro styling that the neckline gives (along with that perfect little belt). Think Audrey Hepburn in Givenchy - the slightly pointed low-heeled pumps add to the early-sixties look. Also, it's not black, but rather charcoal grey: an entirely more flattering colour for almost everyone. Dark grey also manages too look more expensive than black, even in a budget-friendly man-made fibre like this. Lastly, the lack of sleeve will help keep Hellsbells cool as air can get to the underarms too.  We can't all look smart when sleeveless - those of us with flabby arms can't help making the place look untidy if we let them wobble around freely - but a size six has no such problem.  Cover shoulders and decolletage, of course - but the arms can be exposed without compromising your smartness.

Both those dresses are very plain, though.  It is possible to look more 'fashion forward' (to use a revoltingly fashionista phrase) while still communicating grown-up intelligence. My least favourite high-street shop seems to be having a little moment of style.  The navy dress above (available in a size 6, petite length - but also in regular and tall length and sizes up to 22) is rather fabulous.  The matte, businesslike fabric is enhanced by feature seaming and silver buttons to create a suitably subtle but unmistakably stylish military feel.  It's £28.

So far all the dresses have been super-sober, but this is an interview for a potential teacher, and teaching is all about personality - so how about some colour? Also from Next (I know...!) and available in the same range of sizes and lengths is this soft raspberry pink dress - a colour muted enough to be sensible but bright enough to fit the season (£38).  In terms of cut, this dress is in the same family as the charcoal Marks and Spencers dress above - more contemporary (with the draped skirt) but also not quite as smart at the waist.  For that reason it's not a clear winner: you'd have to decide whether fabulous tailoring or gorgeous colour is more 'you'.

Regarding the rest of your outfit - I'd accessorise with black: even with the navy dress as matching blues can be hellishly hard.  A low 1 - 2 inch court shoe or mary-jane would be ideal, but a well polished ballet pump would do (no sandals or peeptoes, though), and a plain black bag or slim briefcase. Keep jewellery minimal, and probably silver for all of these outfits. If you want to take a warmer layer, a black, lightweight fitted cardigan in the twinset style would be better than a jacket.  Despite ettiquette I think, in extremely hot weather, that you needn't wear tights: so long as you aren't self conscious of your legs being blotchy or some other such thing.  If you do choose hosiery, go to the locale bare legged and take two pairs of 10 denier, non-shiny, skintone (not tan) tights in your handbag.  Put one on in a cafe loo just before you arrive - the second pair is in case you ladder the first through nerves or plain old cack-handedness... or is that just me?

And good luck! Teaching, eh? Why anyone'd d want to do a thing like that I'll never know...

Friday Frock Factor Five

Lots and lots of new visitors to the blog this week, so if that's you: welcome, and let me tell you all about Friday Frocks. Just over a month ago I launched a manifesto to spread a little happiness through making an extra effort with what you wear on a Friday.  It doesn't have to be a frock, boys can join in, and it's all relative to your own everyday standards of glam.  For you, Friday Frocks might be a whole showstopping look, or it might just be a clean T-shirt... so long as you made the extra effort in honour of Friday, and doing so made you feel good about yourself.

 Last Friday was the fifth week of Friday Frocks and I know through checking the hashtag #fridayfrocks on Twitter that lots and lots of people in the UK, and also several in New Zealand and in Ireland are now dosing themselves up with Friday fabulousness.  But it's the usual suspects who are sending me their pics.  Can we make it a mission for next week?  If you are or know a Friday Frocker who we haven't seen here before, capture their image and sent it to me! (Email address is on the left of the page) Of course, I do still want to see the hardcore loyal swelegencia... and why wouldn't I when they look as fabulous as Maeve in a dotty outfit I could die for.  Gorgeous with her colouring, too.

Making good on her promise of colour, @Girl_in_a_Box here looks fresh as a country garden, despite the service-station loos backdrop!  If you don't feel the ditsy, floral type, something more down to earth, like this chunky leather belt can make the outfit more 'you'.  It works because the light floral fabric is juxtaposed with the solidity of the belt, which accentuates the femininity without making it feel 'too much'.

Suzi here is working a summery, preppy look for a day at home - and helpfully proving that frocks are optional.  The soft blue cardigan looks rich against the more utilitarian fabrics of the rest of the outfit, and lends an air of luxury.  I love those simple black birkenstocks too.  You can wear black sandals with bare legs, but avoid too much foot coverage: these are perfect.

She also got creative and treated herself (and us) to an elegant updo.  It's the kind of thing that Friday frocks is all about: a little extra effort that makes you feel a little bit special all day.

After last week's gorgeous maxi dress, Bonita is a hot contender once again for frock of the week in this fabulous monochrome number.  The angel sleeves and deep V neckline are super-flattering, even for those of us not as slim as Bonita, and the addition of the broad black belt gives shape and finish  to the look.  This kind of stylised floral pattern is a great way to 'wear summer' even if you're not the flowery type
 

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My offering this week (and please ignore the somewhat sulky face) isn't a frock either.  I bought this skirt in the sale at Monsoon a few years ago, but have only worn it a couple of times as I'm really not fond of navy.  I don't know quite how it can have taken me so long however, to notice that some of the flower appliques are red which is definitely a favourite colour. Loved this outfit, and got loads of compliments around school.  Sometimes you need to know what works for you.  For me, there are summery colours - pastels make me look ill!

In the end, though, we were all outclassed by @BeBelongy's eleven week old daughter.  As a new mum she felt Friday Frocks was something she could best express through her delicious babe, and I think we'd all agree that the youngest member of the swelegencia wears it very well.

So - that was week five.  Get planning for Friday and don't forget to send me the evidence!