Ooh la ladybird!

Tonight I need cheering up, so I'm going to indulge myself by wallowing in some of my favourite clothes.

Polka dots have been a passion for me since childhood.  The young Miss Charlotte was enamoured of the aesthetic chosen by gothy Scottish popstrels Strawberry Switchblade (and the music, but that's a different story).  Then as a teenager my first true love was a young man who modelled himself on the singers Iain McCulloch and Robert Smith, and had a signature look involving polka dot shirts and skintight jeans.  I taught myself to sew with two polka dot skirts and a pair of baby-pink polka dot dungaree shorts... fast forward to more recent times and even my wedding dress had an overlay of cream polka dots.  But in the last year or so, I've accumulated three polka dot purchases which are all, inescapably, in the crimson and black hues of the lovely ladybird.

Click for larger pics.

It started with this dress from Rockabilly/Punk online boutique Collectif (although they don't sell it now - or indeed much else in the same size). I bought it because of the polka dots, but also because I wanted something new to wear for the late lamented regular People's Republic of Disco club night, where red and black was the non-compulsory dress code.  I know it looks short - remember: not only am I short myself, but it's also very wide.  And look - there I am on the right, in the clubbing section of Time Out - proving that it's an excellent party frock!  It's a great standby, this: my version of the 'little black dress'.  I can wear it over trousers if I'm feeling self-conscious about my legs, it doesn't show too much boob and it isn't too dressy... but it still looks like I've put on something a bit special.

Then, as I mentioned in one of my first blog posts (here), I found a pair of super-cheap spotty low-heel shoes, meant to appeal to the kids' souvenir market in Barcelona. As I mention in my earlier post: they appealed to me immediately as 'ladybird shoes' - it wasn't until later that I realised that they match the frock.  These lovely low heels are comfy enough to be worn all night.  Around then I began to consider what it was about this particular permutation of polka dots that appealed so strongly.  The crimson tone is deep, richer than a more firey scarlet hue, and this more bluey red flatters my dark hair and pale skin (orangey reds are better for fair hair or for tanned complexions).  This red, then is juxtaposed with black - a powerful combination of mischief and strength.  Minnie Mouse sports a red dress with white polka dots, and that's a far more innocent look.  But for me, there's also something cool and cute about ladybirds themselves.  The female identity, the bright colours, the childlike pattern... ladybirds rock.

Then, last summer, when I was searching for something special to wear for my hen night, I went back to the ladybird pattern for a third time. I'd already decided on plain pink dresses from Vivien of Holloway for my bridesmaids, and now I went all out one of their showstopping frocks for myself, in what else but red with big black dots.  It's still available now - £59 for the dress and the matching bolero is £25.  The dresses are boned in the bodice and very full in the skirt - they look great on their own or even better with a full petticoat.

As you can see, it's quite a show-stopping look... you need to carry it off with some confidence.  Why do I love it?  The slightly larger size of the polka dots make it more flattering for my large build - more so than the first dress, and it's so flattering to this over-inflated hourglass body. The dress only comes in halterneck though, and although I customised a bra to fit under the halter, very big boobs make for a very painful neck by the end of the night - when I next wear it (on Saturday, for my birthday), I'll convert it to shoulder straps. Finally, a gratuitous closeup.  Photos like this make me love my body just the way it is - and what better reason could there be to have a passion for great clothes?.

                          

A new direction - back to the missions.

 
I've received a new mission from a New Zealand reader:

Yay! I'd missed your blog Charlotte, great to have you posting again!

I have a questions for SSS- my look has fallen a bit flat! I'm getting past the jeans-and-t-shirt-for-all-occasions phase I've been in for the last decade, but I've no real inspiration of what to look for instead. I don't want to be too "flowery" but I do want to feel a bit more feminine and look a bit smarter. I'm pretty busty, size 12UK (14AUS), olive skin and dark hair. What colours/styles should I be looking at?

 This lady is gorgeous: tall, dark and beautiful.  She rides motorbikes, too. Very seriously cool.  But not even she can make jeans and t-shirts look swelegant.  So what can she do?  Well, I'm not going to start suggesting frocks for every occasion, but I'm fairly confident there's a clear path to a gorgeous look that she'll find wearable.  The key change is going to be focused on tops.  She's a slim lady, so it's not that we want to disguise anything, but big boobs need to be both accentuated and at the same time, not allowed to steal the all the limelight.

It's summer in New Zealand, and a pretty top worn with plain linen trousers (I assume the model on the left forgot hers) is a look that's feminine and elegant, but also relaxed and practical.  Olive skins need deep colours near the face, but avoid black, dark blue, green etc in summer because it just doesn't sit well in the sunshine (fortunately, this matters less on your bottom half).  Try patterns (polka dots, stylised flowers, stars...) which feature intense bright colours such as crimsons, deep turquoises, bright sky blues and raspberry pinks.  Avoid thin straps like the plague if you have big boobs - you need a wider strap to make your boobs look in proportion.  Halternecks - with thick straps - can, however, look stunning if back and arms are slim - the one above is a great cut, though probably too light in colour to flatter our girl.  Avoid anything with a high or strictly horizontal neckline and say 'no' to strapless tops or anything with smocking over the bust.  Try to find tops with some kind of empire-line (horizontal seam under the bust) as this will stop big boobs from making the whole torso look matronly.  Avoid vest tops where possible - something in a non-cling fabric will make you look fresh, cool and elegant (as well as skimming any little lumps and bumps).

For work, and in cooler weather, my recommendation is the kimono neckline.  Wear it with a vest, (as left) for daytime modesty, and without for maximum impact.  The kimono top will have an empire line profile(probably with ties at the back), and either a deep plunging, or slightly cross-over neckline.  If there are sleeves they should be wide and loose.  These tops come in lots of different fabrics, from t-shirt cotton to silk and couldn't be easier to wear.  It's really no different to t-shirt and jeans.  They look great with dark denim slim-cut bootlegs or skinny jeans, leggings, or my preference, which is the straight-cut wide-leg trouser. Keep shoes flat.
 
Lastly, I must apologise for there being no actual shopping recommendations here.  Wrong hemisphere and wrong season - but I hope the principles help.

What you want - 3: Jumper Dresses

Before I begin what will be a list of clothes with prices, pictures and handy links for ease of purchase, I feel a bit bad about advocating spending on inessentials from time to time - and never more so than today, in the aftermath of the Haitian earthquake.  Times are bloody tough, and I don't want to guilt-trip anyone... but if you had been thinking of donating to help the survivors, let me make it easy for you.  Here's a link to the Disasters Emergency Committee's website - if you want to give and haven't got round to it yet, then I don't mind at all if you do that first and then come back and read the blog later.

Okay, so: jumper dresses.  Or as Roxanne put it in an email to me:

Jumper dresses, please! For all shapes/sizes/occasions.

And it's the 'shapes/sizes' bit that worries me, if I'm honest: jumper dresses are unforgiving in all kinds of ways. Take the one above as an example (£28, Dorothy Perkins) It's a chunky knit, so will add bulk, short and tight and so will widen the thigh and cling to the tummy, has a high neck to make your boobs look matronly, short sleeves to accentuate the width of the upper torso and it even has pockets like saddlebags on your already beleaguered thighs.  And yes, this was the worst example I could find, but there were loads to choose from.  This dress would suit someone tall, with great legs and a boyish figure - which isn't many of us. 

So is it all doom and gloom?  Not entirely.  I can see the snuggly appeal, but I have to confess, I'm not convinced by jumper dresses - they're not for me. However, not everyone is quite so short of leg, wide of thigh or big of boob...  They're not for everyone but there is a jumper dress out there for most of you.

In a wearable green (and also cream) is this rather charming empire line frock from Peacocks.  It's £16, and available from size 6-20.  At that price we can't expect great quality, which is a shame because this is a great design. The deep scoop neck is buxomly flattering for all but the largest boobs, and notice how the cable knit pattern (in flattering verticals) is a smaller width over the boobs - giving a minimising look where the dress is tightest.  The looser skirt is flattering over less-that-toned tums, hips, bums and thighs, and would look fine over jeans or trousers if you feel more comfortable covered-up.  (You can, of course wear tighter dresses over trousers, but it's an unfamiliar silhouette and only really looks good with tight-profile trousers.)  In an ideal world I wouldn't have had the pockets, and the sleeve is still a little short, but I like this.

 
Similar in style, but slightly less forgiving (and anyway, only available up to a 16) is this rather stylish frock from French Connection.  It's a little bit retro teaparty, a little bit Parisienne - think cream opaque tights and dolly shoes.  It's delightful colour (versatile and suits just about everyone) and a huge bargain at £45.50 reduced from £90 - if I were a size 16 I'd snap it up.

The next dress will best suit less hourglassy types because of its gorgeous, sophisticated lines.  It's rather 1930s, I think, and the long sleeves and far longer-than-usual skirt length make it perfect for those going for an elegant look with sheer stockings.  I'm less inspired by the grey, but it comes in black and french navy (the site wouldn't let me lift the photos of those colour options) in sizes up to an XL - roughly a 16-18.  It's by Great Plains, who I know nothing about, and it's reduced from £50 to £36.  Monsoon have a similar style (right) in black, for £60 - sizes 14-18 online, though with Monsoon, other sizes may well be instore.

Lastly, one for the more buxom.  Monsoon have a few knitted dresses, of which the one I've mentioned and the one above - while not traditional jumper dresses, are by far the most flattering options.  This dress is my favourite, because of it's hugely flattering wrap neckline, sensible length and full sleeves. It's £55 but sadly only available in the pale grey and in size 'large' online (again, try your local stores - Monsoon's stock control doesn't seem to be centralised).

Wellies revisited...

 
Last February we had snow, and I posted about finding wellies to accommodate the larger calf - with your indulgence, I'll post that again here, but with updates based on a test of my newly purchased boots in the snow today.  If you remember the original post, just scroll to the end for the new stuff.

I don't often need to go places where my feet will get wet. Other than the shower, that is. But one ought to own a pair of wellies - this much has been evident today - when surely I would have frolicked with unbridled energy in the snow (as opposed to staying in my cosy bed all day) had I only owned a pair of good old gum boots.

I did have a pair. They were £6 in Tesco's kids department several years ago. I eventually pressed them into employ on one weekend, at last year's Endorseit festival, and I was jolly glad of them in the Somme-like conditions. By the end of the weekend though, I'd sliced them down the back (because it's one thing getting your legs in; losing all feeling in your feet due to constricted blood supply is quite another), and eventually threw them away on the way home, in a motorway service station bin, because our car was rammed to the gunnels, and the boots had doubled in size thanks to having half a Dorset field clinging to them.

So now I am bootless. It's quite discomfiting to discover myself lacking in clothing or footwear for any occasion, so I've been looking on the internet for my next pair of wellies. Of course, if I do buy some, they won't be delivered before the snow disappears... but I'll be ready if it happens again, goshdarnit!

But my word - buying wellies which will accommodate the larger calf is harder, and in some cases more costly than buying lovely leather boots from Duo. Who knew?

Purveyors of Serious Wellingtons, Hunter, stock a larger calf size in their more boring styles, but prices start at £50 - rising to £240, and the most exciting colour in the wide fit styles is black. There are other serious brands selling serious wellies - mostly for horsey types - but the only brand selling purpose-made, wider-fit wellies that don't look eye-gougingly dull are Jileon Ltd. Jileon are welly specialists who stock loads of cute and glam welly designs at around the £25 mark. Sadly, only one pretty pattern makes it to the wide-fit style, but it's a versatile black-and-polka-dot boot (above), which should please many. However, for some reason, for the larger fit they nearly double the price - to £44.99. Even then, I was tempted... but sadly, their smallest size is a 5. Tsh! Back to the drawing board.

I should probably point out that Jileon stock two other 'wide fit' styles - which cost £19.99/£32.99, but they are that ubiquitous muddy green colour. They'd have to be free to find a place in my wardrobe...

Another welly-specialist is Funky Wellies - and the name sounds promising. Their neoprene-lined range is supposed, according to their blog, to be more capacious around the calf. They have a cute pink floral boot, but I rather love the royal blue ones patterned with cars and camper vans. I don't love them to the tune of £45.95, though - even though they have them in my size. Lakeland Welly Workshop do a cute daisy boot with handles for £25, which they say is good for wider calves - but seem to have very few sizes in stock.

So what, then. Well the choices seem to be one of two: buy a pair of sensible wellies in sludge green or black; or go for something other than a standard welly. Plenty of retailers sell ankle-height wellies, which will fit - but you can't exactly tuck your trousers into them. I know serious outdoorsy types who reckon wellies are for fools anyway, and would encourage me to buy some stout walking boots and waterproof gaiters. Quite apart from the cost, walking boots seem to only come in ugly colours, and I guess I'm just too shallow. And that's before I even contemplate wearing 'waterproof gaiters'. There is a compromise of sorts in low-calf boots, epitomised by the Crocs above (£25-£35). Pretty colours, yes - and if you buy the imitation ones on ebay they can be cheap as you like... but they're truly very odd looking. Maybe I'll wait it out...

Proof that I did wear wellies once. Even if they were the most sensible part of my outfit...

Update:

So, despite the recent Arctic weather not really troubling us that much in London, I felt frustrated that there might be other occasions when I would want to frolic in the snow, and be denied due to my inadequate footwear. The situatation in terms of what's available hasn't really changed, but Jileon did have size 4 boots in stock, which is close enough - allowing for two extra pairs of woolly socks, so I bit the bullet and shelled out close to fifty quid (including delivery) for a pair of spotty wellies.

No sooner had I placed my order than a friend sent me the following report:

I bought some of those and the strap on the side broke as soon as I put them on. I was really unimpressed with them, the soles were very thin too.

I never got round to sending them back so I might stick them on ebay.

I hope you like yours, I guess it depends what you want them for but I knew the thin soles would make walking round festivals very uncomfortable.


Which was discouraging to say the least, so I awaited their delivery with some trepidation, and as soon as  opportunity afforded itself, I gave them a good old test.

Look - they match my diary!

They're certainly spacious.  I have large calves, even for my size, and they had no problem accommodating them, plus three pairs of socks, and my turned up, wrapped-round bootcut cords.  I reckon these would easily fit up to a UK dress size 26 - perhaps even larger.  The straps on the side aren't terribly heavy-duty, it's true.  I used them to hold the sides in place after I decided how much folding the gussets needed; you wouldn't want to use them to actually pull the sides in snugly.

So I set off, first on pavements - where the slight heel (half an inch) gave me more traction on slippery surfaces than my trainers have done - and then over the parkland of Peckham Rye.  The snow wasn't super-deep: perhaps two and a half inches in places, but after about half a mile (and then a couple of hundred meters more on pavement again) I reckon I got a sense of what they're be like to wear.  I found them very comfortable. Perhaps it was all the socks, but the soles didn't feel thin to me at all.  At one point I wasn't sure if they were leaking ever so slightly at the heels - it may have just been the cold - but the sensation didn't last long, and when I got home my socks were dry.  I liked them.  I think for a pair of wellies they're too expensive, but at least I have a pair now, and can go festivalling, snowballing or puddlejumping with the best of them for, hopefully, many years to come.

What you want - 2: A big man

So, I have a lovely friend - very stylish, gorgeous, sharp...  and she has a chap who is also lovely - but struggling rather, in the struggle to match her sartorial splendour, and so she's written me an impassioned plea for ideas.  As you know, this isn't my field of familiarity: I'm no expert on where to shop for men's clothes, but I'll do the best I can using basic principles.  My friend's boyfriend is 40, tall and broad shouldered, but she describes him as "portly of tum", and "generally top heavy".  I can't reproduce all of her letter here as it gets a bit 'frank', and it wouldn't be politic to use a photo of the chap himself, so I'm going to use the actor Vince Vaughn to get the body shape in your minds.  I get a bit weak-kneed about Vaughn: he's a great big scrummy bear of a man. 

It's hard for men.  There are far fewer variables of shape and form in men's clothing, and their bodies don't offer many failsafes that can distract the eye from the imperfections.  Where a woman can put on a slash of vivid lipstick or show a splendid decolletage, most men would consider these strategies as probably not enhancing their look.  But there are some opportunities: my friend's chap has a good head of hair, and I strongly advise him to adopt a hairstyle that's a bit flash - short at the sides for slimming effect, but longer on top in the tousled style of Hugh Grant, David Tennant's artfully messy fringe, or Vaughn's own suggestion of a quiff with killer sideburns. A pair of stylish glasses can also draw the eye.

Some things don't change, though - the rules of what is optically slimming are the same for men and women.  It's no more flattering for a man to wear a t-shirt, with its unforgiving high neckline, than it is for a woman.  Any man who wishes to look a little more svelte would do well to eschew just about everything other than the traditional, button-front shirt, worn two buttons open at the neck, just as above.  The V shape neckline elongates the throat and counteracts any burgeoning double chin (a beard can help, but should be well groomed.  Those of us carrying extra weight have an unfair tendency to look unattractively ragged). The line of buttons going all the way down the front draws the eye down, creating a slimming effect.  A shirt with vertical panels will enhance this too, and generally indicates a closer fit. It may seem counterintuitive but heavier bodies shouldn't be swathed in tent-like quantities of fabric; a more fitted look will reduce bulk.  Just make sure the shirt is big enough (and long enough) to allow for a full range of arm movement when done up.  As a general rule, unless very smart dressing is required, leave the shirt untucked and remember that long sleeves are far more flattering (and classy, and elegant, and stylish) than short ones.

Just as with larger women, heavier men should pay attention to pattern.  Checks add width, horizontal lines are not to be countenanced, and patterns should be on a larger scale the bigger you are - but avoid anything too big  as you may end up resembling a sofa.  If you're going to wear the shirt without a jacket some kind of pattern is advisable, as unbroken blocks of colour can give the impression of acreage.  Perhaps surprisingly, since vertical lines = slimming, I'm advising against the ubiquitous Paul Smith-style striped shirt.  It'll make you look like a deckchair.  Not all colours are great to be worn near the face: pale colours can make you look washed out, and yet slimming black makes some look completely drained.  Experiment with dark wine reds, purples, blues and blue-greens as these shades suit all but the fairest skin and hair.  Primary colours are for children and those with very dark skin only.

If the belly protrudes significantly over the waistband, the solution is another layer that will follow the form of the body.  In winter you can wear a fine knit V neck sweater or tank top over the shirt and this will bring the shirt snugly to your waist. Summer is harder though, as obviously you won't want a knitwear layer.  You can wear a t-shirt tucked in to avoid exposing the tummy, but t-shirts themselves are so unflattering... I would advise a t-shirt in a colour no darker than your skin tone, and wearing an untucked shirt on top, done up (apart from the top two buttons) or worn undone, like a jacket. 

Over the shirt, jackets and coats should be tailored with vertical shaping, like a well-fitting suit jacket.  A retro-style leather blazer in black, brown, or warm cherry red is a fantastic everyday standby.  Finding one in the right size may be a problem as many are vintage, but keep an eye out.  In the meantime consider a well-cut suit jacket as a standby.  In colder weather, a classic overcoat like this from Crombie at House of Fraser is an investment that will flatter him and cut a dash for years to come.  It's available up to a 48" chest, and costs £395 (reduced from £675!).  Cheaper options are undoubtedly available, but it's the shape you want - deep V line, mid-width lapels, single breasted.  It needn't be black: charcoal grey is an easier shade to wear for people with paler colouring.

What then to balance out the bottom half?  Avoid anything with a tapered leg, and conversely, also avoid bootcuts.  Bootcut trousers are designed to balance out a heavy thigh.  Great for pear shaped women and rugby players, but heavier set men tend not to have proportionately wide legs.  We want a trouser style then that will add bulk and an impression of width to balance out the top half.  Cargo / combat pants do this, but probably won't work with the button front shirt and form fitting jacket.  Instead I'm going to recommend a wide leg trouser in flannel or corduroy for winter: in summer adopt a dark linen suit with a wide leg. It should be long enough to crumple over the shoe at the front, but shouldn't rub the floor at the back: this is a fairly smart look.  Avoid all except very dark denim with a wide, parallel leg, and say 'no' to shorts and cropped trousers altogether.

Footwear is important, and this look won't work with most trainers, although retro style tennis shoes, baseball boots etc would give a creative edge.  More conventional would be a lace up (or ankle boot for casual wear) with elongated lines, echoing the vertical tailoring of the shirt and jacket.

Giving you what you want - 1: Tights

I recently asked members of the facebook group what they wanted me to cover, and I'll be working through their requests in the order I recieved them.

First out of the gate was lovely Miss Dippy, who replied:

Ooh tights. As it's winter. I am often confused about what tights are in fashion for evening wear and what tights go with what shoes and colours etc? Ta x

And you all know me: I love this kind of thing as it allows me to get all bossy and lay down some rules.

Basically there are three kind of tight-wearing occassion.  There are everyday tights, classy tights and statement tights.  (For the purposes of this post, please read 'stockings' for tights, if that's your preference, especially in the 'classy' section.)

For everyday and night, your wardrobe should have a good stock of opaque black, probably brown, and possibly navy blue tights - as high quality as you can afford.  There's a world of difference between cheap tights and more expensive ones in terms of softer fabric; closer, longer-lasting fit; and durability, so buy the best you can afford.  Opaque tights tend to last for years in my experience, so you can justify spending a bit more for an item you will wear loads of times.  Obviously tights can suffer in the washing machine if they come into contact with zips and bra hooks.  You can buy net bags to wash them in, or tie them in a pillowcase.  The style rules dictate that you match your tights to your shoes or boots, and also to your hem (if it's black, brown or navy).  If you're wearing a brighter colour, match your shoes and tights anyway, depending on which neutral colour fits your preference and what suits the colour of your skirt.

Opaque tights are durable, flattering, easy to wear, and they allow the modest wearing of shorter skirts than would be viable with bare legs or sheer tights... but sometimes they just won't do.  Some workplaces require a level of grooming that won't be met by the more casual look of opaques, and by extension of the rules above if you're wearing a light coloured skirt you really need flesh tone tights.  As I wrote yesterday, retro dressing requires sheer hosiery and indeed, there are social occasions at which you will feel more elegant in sheers.  The best rule of thumb is your footwear.  The more elegant and ladylike your shoe, the less likely you are to wear opaque tights.  A simple court shoe needs sheer tights, where a chunkier mary jane probably needs opaques.   The spohisticated tapered heel above screams for sheer tights, whereas all kinds of boots look better with opaques. Peep toes can be worn with sheer tights if the 'peep hole' is small, but a fully open toe should be worn with bare legs.  Sheer tights should be worn in a colour that represents your actual skin tone (don't try and use your tights to give the sense of a tan: it looks wrong), or in Nearly Black (a warm black tint) for most occassions.  Pure black sheer tights can look a little more dramatic than elegant.

Tights, though can be fun when worn creatively.  I'd avoid patterned sheer tights like those on the right, as they can look like blemishes on the legs, but vertical patterned lace tights look fabulously 'Moulin Rouge' when worn with boots, plain heels or with simple ballet flats and a short skirt (beware, though: lacy tights can chafe if your thighs rub together).  In this case, keep the rest of your outfit plain - as a rule, the more attention-seeking your legwear, the plainer everything else needs to be in relation.

Opaque patterned tights make a real statement.  Be aware that they're not going to be flattering on the whole (though a vertically ribbed pattern will of course elongate and slim the legs, optically), but sometimes fun is more important than flattery.  Diamond tights are widely available, and suit straighter legs, whereas the also widely available herringbone pattern is great for all leg shapes.  Patterned tights can be worn with any footwear, including sandals, but complicated straps will detract from the impact of the pattern.

Less dramatic, more 'stylish' impact can be had by the bold use of colour contrast with plain opaque tights - and it's also an easier look than he patterned looks above, especially if you're less than leg-confident.  A mary-jane or T-bar shoe is perfect for this look, as it evokes a kind of retro nursery-chic, but you can also experiment with open toed shoes and sandals.  The simplest look is pastel opaques worn with darker shoes (though beware the widening effect of pale colours).  But as shown above, coloured tights can add drama to some quite unassuming shoes.  The juxtaposition of colours makes the impact of both thights and footwear more dramatic.  Equally, teaming your plain old black opaques with a splash of lighter colour makes a bold, stylish statement.

What I wore on my holidays part one: Hail to Miss Holloway.

Ah, how I've missed having clothes to write about that I didn't hate.

I have a bargain for all you retro-chic acolytes worshipping at the shrine of Mad Men goddess Joan Holloway.  I recently watched all on seasons two and three back-to-back and made a resolution, inspired by that statuesque siren to put myself together a little more elegantly.  Well, having sprained both ankles a while back, I've had to eschew heels, and I did try to wear foundation every day but it made my skin break out... maybe it's a look for occasions...  And I have found a great dress to wear on those red-letter days.

In limited sizes now from Ann Harvey but only £22 in the sale (of course, I paid £40 - sod's law, but still a decent reduction from £80), it's a really interesting piece of tailoring and much more flattering than the photo suggests.  Even if it isn't still available in your size, it's worth having a look at why it works.  The wide, V neckline acts as a frame for your face, while also simultaneously drawing attention to the boobs and making them look less bulky (this dress won't work unless you're fairly buxom - although you needn't have quite my ridiculous proportions). The deep bands of trim that follow the crossover shape of the bodice also detract from the obvious shape of the boobs.  This gives a more sophisticated, tailored look.  The vertical darts at the front avoid excess bulk without the need for a stretch fabric, but aren't so tight as to make the dress cling to the tummy: always a problem with 'pencil' skirts and dresses.  The sleeves are an absolutely optimum length for flattery.  They cover all the worst, widest parts, the length balances them out beautifully and is right for that retro look, where short-short sleeves are rare.  I'm not so keen on the length on me, and the colour isn't easy to wear, but it's a fantastic example of this kind of frock.

Where else can you look for this kind of dress?  Well, there are many sites in the states, of which Pin Up Girl Clothing is my favourite - an absolute Aladdin's cave of hourglass frockery.  To buy in the UK without incurring prohibitive postage charges and running the risk of customs fees, I recommend Pin Up Parade.  The owner of the site imports the frocks from America in low numbers, so it's a bit luck of the draw.  At the moment she has this curvetastic number in an XXXL only (size 20, nominally, but check the detailed size chart) - £80.

This has a high neckline, so be aware that it will make your boobs look bigger.  Both the dresses so far have really been for the girl who already has something of an hourglass shape.  This look is a little different on ladies with less waist definition, but still very classy.  You need to look for something with a high neckline, and pleated tailoring either side of the waist.  This frock (below, £65) is really classy, has wonderful sleeves and reminds me of sixties air hostesses.  It'd look sexy as hell with a pair of scarlet heels, too.

                             

Keep belts thin and stockings sheer for this look.  Heels and lipstick must be worn. This is high maintenance dressing, but in a really good way.