A-mer-i-cano...americano...

A mission from my fabulous New York-based performance artist friend Davi:

Hey Ms. Charlotte,
 
If you fancy a swelegant style project, here's one for ya!
 
I'm looking for a cocktail dress and some shoes to go with it.
 
I've got a bat mitzvah PARTY (not the service) to attend.  And I have  
no idea what happened to my favorite heels, which also happen to be  
green so they're limited in terms of what I can pair 'em with in my  
wardrobe).
 
Here's the scoop; after 7 months of injury, I've gained a little  
weight and the dress I'd probably be most inclined to wear to this  
party feels a little tight on me.
 
I'd love to treat myself to a new dress.
 
I've got big boobs, big thighs, a reasonably small waist (but not an  
hourglass figure), and I'm short.  (you know all this)
 
I like dresses that show off my shoulders; halters work well,  
especially with structured support for the boobies.
 
I don't really like pencil skirts/dresses because they  make it hard  
to dance.
 
I have a really great pair of gold wedge sandals (but, um, it'll be  
mid-march) and I will try to figure out what happened to these (my  
green heels):

 

I'd love to spend under $150 on the dress.
 
Ideas? I just ordered the Nanette Lepore Evermore dress off ebay and  
was looking at some DVF wrap dresses (though I own one and I know that  
it's pretty hard to find one that covers my boobs adequately).
 
Something sassy!

My knowledge of American-based shops is limited (although bigger girls in the Big Apple should visit Re/dress NYC - a fun and friendly boutique selling vintage and new plus-size gems... who knows if I'll make it myself, but were I to visit New York it'd be the first place I visited... but anyway, I digress...)   but I have found some great frocks at Pinup Girl Clothing - purveyors of punky, retro and rockabilly fashions to the American Swelegencia.

 

We're looking for some boob support (and preferably the coverage to allow for a bra), but low enough cut to flatter bigger boobs, and ideally showing some shoulder-enhancing skin.  All the dresses I've chosen have A-line or full skirts; Davi feels restricted in anything tighter, and it also makes it hard to accommodate a good fit if your thighs are proportionately larger than your waist.  The first dress ($68) is a fun cherry-print on black or white. The black is more eveningy, but the white is irresistibly reminiscent of Monroe's frock in The Misfits. Both are edged in green piping which, although it isn't the same shade as her green shoes, is tonally in the same family, and will tie the frock to the shoes.

More conventional on first look is this gorgeous black frock with blue swallow embroidery on the bodice and hip and  matching belt ($110). It's not too conventional, though: the swallows suggest sailor tattoos, and the full skirt is crying out for a net underskirt in peacock blue - or perhaps a more shocking contrast - raspberry pink, violet or emerald green. It won't show Davi's toned shoulders, but this dress is an absolute classic.

Next to website Baby Girl Boutique. A green dress here - cherries again, but this time less sexy and more girly.  I see it with those quite schoolish shoes.  The empire line is flattering to Davi's shape, and the A line will skim the thighs ($78.50). Ignore the wholesome model - this dress is funky and punky and lots of fun.

Lastly, it's back to Pin Up Girl Clothing for the Dolly Dress by Paperdoll clothing ($84).  Paperdoll make this style frock in lots of colourways - but I'm struggling to find the brighter ones in stock anywhere.  It's no good for shoulder flattery, but the length is perfect for someone petite, and again, the empire line is flattering. The one on the left has a cutesy cupcake trim, while the other has a design of retro movie monsters. I really see Davi in this dress, if all the black isn't too sober for her.

What I wore on my holidays part one: Hail to Miss Holloway.

Ah, how I've missed having clothes to write about that I didn't hate.

I have a bargain for all you retro-chic acolytes worshipping at the shrine of Mad Men goddess Joan Holloway.  I recently watched all on seasons two and three back-to-back and made a resolution, inspired by that statuesque siren to put myself together a little more elegantly.  Well, having sprained both ankles a while back, I've had to eschew heels, and I did try to wear foundation every day but it made my skin break out... maybe it's a look for occasions...  And I have found a great dress to wear on those red-letter days.

In limited sizes now from Ann Harvey but only £22 in the sale (of course, I paid £40 - sod's law, but still a decent reduction from £80), it's a really interesting piece of tailoring and much more flattering than the photo suggests.  Even if it isn't still available in your size, it's worth having a look at why it works.  The wide, V neckline acts as a frame for your face, while also simultaneously drawing attention to the boobs and making them look less bulky (this dress won't work unless you're fairly buxom - although you needn't have quite my ridiculous proportions). The deep bands of trim that follow the crossover shape of the bodice also detract from the obvious shape of the boobs.  This gives a more sophisticated, tailored look.  The vertical darts at the front avoid excess bulk without the need for a stretch fabric, but aren't so tight as to make the dress cling to the tummy: always a problem with 'pencil' skirts and dresses.  The sleeves are an absolutely optimum length for flattery.  They cover all the worst, widest parts, the length balances them out beautifully and is right for that retro look, where short-short sleeves are rare.  I'm not so keen on the length on me, and the colour isn't easy to wear, but it's a fantastic example of this kind of frock.

Where else can you look for this kind of dress?  Well, there are many sites in the states, of which Pin Up Girl Clothing is my favourite - an absolute Aladdin's cave of hourglass frockery.  To buy in the UK without incurring prohibitive postage charges and running the risk of customs fees, I recommend Pin Up Parade.  The owner of the site imports the frocks from America in low numbers, so it's a bit luck of the draw.  At the moment she has this curvetastic number in an XXXL only (size 20, nominally, but check the detailed size chart) - £80.

This has a high neckline, so be aware that it will make your boobs look bigger.  Both the dresses so far have really been for the girl who already has something of an hourglass shape.  This look is a little different on ladies with less waist definition, but still very classy.  You need to look for something with a high neckline, and pleated tailoring either side of the waist.  This frock (below, £65) is really classy, has wonderful sleeves and reminds me of sixties air hostesses.  It'd look sexy as hell with a pair of scarlet heels, too.

                             

Keep belts thin and stockings sheer for this look.  Heels and lipstick must be worn. This is high maintenance dressing, but in a really good way.

Curse that exchange rate!

Now is not the time to be buying clothes from the States - time was that the exchange rate made US shopping a steal, but now - not so much.

And yet... Look at the gorgeous goodies on the Pin Up Girl website. I've long been a fan - ever since I stumbled across the Greta Hawaiian Print dress - Modelled by yours truly above. The new range has some really exciting stuff that has my credit card itching.

The Kiss Me Deadly range is amazingly eye-catching - although partly that must be due to their fantastically pneumatic models. My eye was caught by the Polka Dot Wiggle Dress ($92) also in white on black, and plain black: the collar on the halterneck is so sharp - but sadly not bra friendly. The do, however, also have a really practical bolero jacket - something every girl should own - for $52.

Elsewhere on the site (and it's truly labyrinthine - a huge quantity of gorgeous stock). More wiggle dresses, this time by Pin Up Girl's own brand, in the form of the aptly named Jessica Dress. It comes in Hot pink/black (above), Burgundy/black, Houndstooth/black, and plain black, or scarlet red - all $88.

But it's not all slinky pencil dresses. The streetwear section of the site is chock full of ranges and designers from the states and UK. Prom dresses sit cheek by jowl with Tattoo influenced T-shirts in the section devoted to 'Lucky 13'. Elsewhere there are clothes for men, accessories and shoes.

Shipping is to be factored in though - rates start at $42, but depend on weight. They recommend buying together to make savings - but even then, it has to be a consideration. There's also the change that you'll get unlucky and UK customs will randomly select your package to levy import duty to - it's never happened to me, but it definitely happens.

The question is - can you truly resist?