What's wrong with this picture?

I'm about to be terribly brave. I'm about to post a picture of myself wearing a dress which I've come to realise is rather unflattering. No laughing at the back, there.

Hmm. Well, my wall displays look nice, and my newly-hennaed hair is shiny, and my legs look okay... but. It isn't just the dress - I've put on some weight since the last picture I posted herein, but the dress isn't doing me any favours. I thought it might be useful to point out what exactly is wrong with it - understanding fit is a really important step in loving shopping, even if you do sometimes get it wrong.

So, here I am again - side by side with a professional model, and with my worst bits circled for your special attention. Sheesh...

A - I'm a short arse. I have short arms and fairly narrow shoulders. This dress doesn't fit on my shoulders, and because the shoulder seam is slipping down my arm, it gives my upper torso a wider look. That slippy, slidey look also lends an overall droopyness to the outfit.

B - It's nearly a crossover dress, but not quite, and there isn't enough room for my boobs to get in there before the waistband section takes over. This is a Bravissimo dress, and it's cut for bigger boobs to the extent that it doesn't show tonnes of cleavage - but i seem to have pushed it beyond the boob capacity it was designed for. The effect is that by starting the waist section before my boobs have stopped, it looks like my boobs are droopy. Ugh. Taken in combination with point A, I want to reach into the picture and hoick them up, but actually it's the frock's fault, and not the bra.

C - Droopy shoulders and short arms = cuffs hanging over my hands. I used to do this deliberately when I was a teenage goth, but it's not really the look I'm trying to 'work' here.

D - OK, look at the model. This ruching across not just the waist but the whole body from underbust to hip creates a series of horizontal lines. And what do horizontal lines do? They widen. Shopping 101, if you will. On me, it's worse, because if you have lumps and bumps, they will fill out the excess fabric of the ruching, drawing special attention to those parts. I knew the waist section would be unflattering when I bought it - but I got carried away because Bravissimo were finally making clothes in an 18.

So there you have it. All is not lost. I will put it in my ever-growing category of 'items I must ebay' - and it really will suit someone taller, with slightly smaller boobs and broader shoulders.