What you want - 3: Jumper Dresses

Before I begin what will be a list of clothes with prices, pictures and handy links for ease of purchase, I feel a bit bad about advocating spending on inessentials from time to time - and never more so than today, in the aftermath of the Haitian earthquake.  Times are bloody tough, and I don't want to guilt-trip anyone... but if you had been thinking of donating to help the survivors, let me make it easy for you.  Here's a link to the Disasters Emergency Committee's website - if you want to give and haven't got round to it yet, then I don't mind at all if you do that first and then come back and read the blog later.

Okay, so: jumper dresses.  Or as Roxanne put it in an email to me:

Jumper dresses, please! For all shapes/sizes/occasions.

And it's the 'shapes/sizes' bit that worries me, if I'm honest: jumper dresses are unforgiving in all kinds of ways. Take the one above as an example (£28, Dorothy Perkins) It's a chunky knit, so will add bulk, short and tight and so will widen the thigh and cling to the tummy, has a high neck to make your boobs look matronly, short sleeves to accentuate the width of the upper torso and it even has pockets like saddlebags on your already beleaguered thighs.  And yes, this was the worst example I could find, but there were loads to choose from.  This dress would suit someone tall, with great legs and a boyish figure - which isn't many of us. 

So is it all doom and gloom?  Not entirely.  I can see the snuggly appeal, but I have to confess, I'm not convinced by jumper dresses - they're not for me. However, not everyone is quite so short of leg, wide of thigh or big of boob...  They're not for everyone but there is a jumper dress out there for most of you.

In a wearable green (and also cream) is this rather charming empire line frock from Peacocks.  It's £16, and available from size 6-20.  At that price we can't expect great quality, which is a shame because this is a great design. The deep scoop neck is buxomly flattering for all but the largest boobs, and notice how the cable knit pattern (in flattering verticals) is a smaller width over the boobs - giving a minimising look where the dress is tightest.  The looser skirt is flattering over less-that-toned tums, hips, bums and thighs, and would look fine over jeans or trousers if you feel more comfortable covered-up.  (You can, of course wear tighter dresses over trousers, but it's an unfamiliar silhouette and only really looks good with tight-profile trousers.)  In an ideal world I wouldn't have had the pockets, and the sleeve is still a little short, but I like this.

 
Similar in style, but slightly less forgiving (and anyway, only available up to a 16) is this rather stylish frock from French Connection.  It's a little bit retro teaparty, a little bit Parisienne - think cream opaque tights and dolly shoes.  It's delightful colour (versatile and suits just about everyone) and a huge bargain at £45.50 reduced from £90 - if I were a size 16 I'd snap it up.

The next dress will best suit less hourglassy types because of its gorgeous, sophisticated lines.  It's rather 1930s, I think, and the long sleeves and far longer-than-usual skirt length make it perfect for those going for an elegant look with sheer stockings.  I'm less inspired by the grey, but it comes in black and french navy (the site wouldn't let me lift the photos of those colour options) in sizes up to an XL - roughly a 16-18.  It's by Great Plains, who I know nothing about, and it's reduced from £50 to £36.  Monsoon have a similar style (right) in black, for £60 - sizes 14-18 online, though with Monsoon, other sizes may well be instore.

Lastly, one for the more buxom.  Monsoon have a few knitted dresses, of which the one I've mentioned and the one above - while not traditional jumper dresses, are by far the most flattering options.  This dress is my favourite, because of it's hugely flattering wrap neckline, sensible length and full sleeves. It's £55 but sadly only available in the pale grey and in size 'large' online (again, try your local stores - Monsoon's stock control doesn't seem to be centralised).

Easy access for scooby snacks.

Ok magic Charlotte, I have another assignment for you after you inspired me to find a great dress for my birthday. I am going to the wedding of two very dear friends on the first of May. The bride is an absolute stunner and very stylish, so while of course no one will be trying to upstage her, I suspect that every female guest will be upping their game in terms of wedding outfits. This will really be the first big event I'll have been to since the baby was born and I want to wow, BUT I will also still be breastfeeding said baby, so will need something with at least passable access to norks (and something not too dependent on a decent bra, as nursing bras are all pretty crap support-wise). Any help you can give me much appreciated! You know my shape and colouring, I don't mind spending a bit on something good quality.

So, it was way back in November, on my second ever SSS mission, that I last helped this lovely lady find a frock, and I'm flattered that she's back for more. Of all the concerns in her dilemma, obviously the one that's most important is finding something gorgeous, stylish and flattering - but the other issues - of easy access and chunky bra needs - are utterly non-negotiable, and have to be my starting point. Now I've never had to combine a fab frock with breastfeeding, so my understanding may be theoretical, but I do have boobs and bras to consider.

All the normal methods for providing quick access to boobs, such as halter necks, or strappy tops that can be slipped, loosely, off the shoulder, are going to struggle to conceal a bra. A wrap dress will provide coverage, but it might be hard to access a boob without exposing a great deal more, by undoing the dress completely. My solution is buttons.

My first choice is by Oli. It comes in black, but also this sophisticated red, and costs £44. The tailoring at the waist will help define the boobs - important if the bra doesn't work terribly hard. The skirt looks to be cut on the bias, for extra flattery, and I think the silhouette is a little bit 'wartime glamour' - which could be accentuated by retro accessories or ignored in favour of sharper, contemporary styling. My friend is slim, but this dress is available up to a size 20.

I wouldn't often recommend brown for this kind of occasion, but the pink here is gorgeous and crying out to be accentuated through some lovely accessories. I'd go smart and sharp with shoes etc to really contrast with the slightly shabby-chic stylings of the dress. It's by French Connection (£70). Look out for the darling butterflies in the chintz design, and the buttons which go all the way to the hem - which should make feeding access no problem at all.

Seemingly unavoidable this spring/summer is the shirt dress. On the one hand, almost all of these feature button fronts, but I'm reluctant to recommend them wholeheartedly. There's something quite utilitarian in style about a shirt dress - and it's therefore quite hard to make them look elegant and glamorous. Taller, slimmer women will generally find that easier, and it helps if the frock itself is in a fabulous colour or luxury fabric. The one above is by M&S, and costs £35. It's not terribly special, and being linen, it's going to crumple rather badly through the day, but I've included it principally because it doesn't have pockets on the bust. Unless you have very small boobs, you want to stay away from chest pockets - bizarre, horrible effect. (Incidentally, Next have some wrap dresses at the moment which are almost carbon copies of last season's DVF designs... except for some misconceived reason, they've appended little military style pockets over the boob. I literally could not believe my eyes. Utter insanity).

Of course - if anyone more experienced has suggestions as to incorporating breastfeeding with glam frock, let us know!

Incidentally, remember my slightly-unsuccessful mission for a bright blue wrap dress? Looks like Dotty Perkins were paying attention!